Why Men Will Never Be Replaced By Vibrators

Sex vibrator

Sex vibrator

It’s enough to make a penis shake in his briefs. But I’m here to tell peckers everywhere: Fear not, you’ll never be replaced (nor will the men attached to them).

Here’s why:

1. ORGASMS AREN’T EVERYTHING

Sure, a vibrator can offer toe-curling ecstasy, but that’s it. It can’t flirt with you. It won’t make eyes at you from across the bar. You can forget about erotically-charged repartee or scintillating cocktail conversation with a dildo. There will be no feverish make-up sex, because there will be no arguments (although there might be yelling when the batteries run out). A hunk of plastic can’t softly kiss you on your neck or endearingly fumble with the buttons on your blouse. It won’t talk dirty (it only gets dirty, and it never ever cleans itself). And it certainly won’t be any good at post-coital cuddling.

Orgasms are nice and all, but it’s all that other stuff that makes sex.

2. HAVE YOU SEEN A PENIS LATELY?

Judging from the fact that you’re bothering to read this, you’re probably a heterosexual dude, and as a heterosexual dude living in a puritanical, homophobic

society you’re probably like, “ew, penises, gross.” Well, allow me to offer a female perspective: They are gorgeous. Miraculous. Divine. That is what any straight woman who has gotten over her own sexual hang-ups will tell you. I don’t care how many world-class industrial designers you throw at the project of engineering a sleek new sex toy—no vibrator is going to match the aesthetic beauty of an actual dick. Fact.

3. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SOMEONE SUGGEST THAT FLESHLIGHTS WILL REPLACE WOMEN?

I’m guessing the answer is “hell no.” Why would it be any different with vibrators and men?

4. VIBRATORS JUST AREN’T THAT GOOD

As a sex writer, I’m sent fancy new sex toys all the time. This used to be a major perk of the job. Now I realize how much alike they all are. They have nothing of the variety of real, live men—not in terms of looks or moves. Most of mine have ended up as landfill—the vibrators, not the men.

5. SEX TOYS ARE YOUR FRIENDS

A fear of vibrators was maybe understandable back when women were expected to orgasm from penetration alone. But these days, we all recognize that most women need some manual assistance too, right? That isn’t an insult to your carnal abilities; it’s just basic biology. So instead of thinking of vibes as a replacement for men, think of them as a tool for better-partnered sex. I’ve seen particularly enlightened men even boast of their Hitachi-wielding skills.

There’s nothing manlier than a guy who isn’t threatened by a fake phallus.

6. IT’S HARDNESS DOESN’T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING

A hard dick tells us that we’re turning you on—and that turns us on. We like to know how our naked bodies and carefully executed gyrations are being received, and a boner is your penis’s version of a round of applause. There’s nothing like some positive reinforcement to get us to relax and get into the mood. And guess what? A vibrator is always hard. Who needs that kind of false praise!

7. MEN CAN LEARN WHAT YOU LIKE

Guys—well, some of them anyway—know how to respond to women’s writhing and moans. They can read which facial contortions mean ‘don’t stop’ and which mean

‘try something different’. Even better, they tend to remember what works and what doesn’t for next time.

www.men’shealth.com

Short URL: http://cajnewsafrica.com/?p=2547

Posted by on Nov 17 2014. Filed under Africa & World, News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
  • Jaina

    This is a very nice post, very informative. And yes men will never be replaced although I love vibes 😉 men will always be different and special :) I have a vibrator and it’s my first and only one. I can use it solo or with a partner, my vibe is called Wild G-Spot Vibrator, it’s a rabbit vibrator with 3 fast-vibrating stimulators that focus on the clit, curved tip designed for the G-Spot, it is waterproof I love it using in shower or pool (my fave feature) and many more!, been using this vibe for a couple of months now and it’s amazing! I purchased it online at AdamAndEve.com and I received it very discreet and with lotsa freebies like free gifts, adult DVDs and most of their products are even 50% off, easy savings right there! and if you want to try this vibe or any kind of adult toys of Adam and Eve and of course you want the freebies too 😉 use discount code PROMO50 at the checkout and that’s it! But note that the free shipping offer is available within USA only. Thanks and good luck :)

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